Mac & Cheese

In our house, when I’m in charge of making Macaroni and Cheese, my go to is a roux (roo). While it may sound extravagant, it’s a simple action of creating your own cheese sauce, seasoning it up and pouring it over your choice of noodles to bake.

Azai’s been our sous chef since he was able to be in the kitchen!

I start with my stovetop on medium, melt my butter and add garlic. Just as the kitchen becomes fragrant, I slowly begin adding in tablespoons of flour, whisking carefully, while pouring in a few token seasonings. As the mixture begins to thicken, I gradually add in heavy cream and cheeses—Sharp Cheddar, Mild or Monterey—all while continuously stirring, keeping my attention on the pot. Roux’s take time, they start slow but require you to keep your attention on them. The second you take your eye off of it, is often the instant the flour begins clumping together, the cheese becomes a cluster, the butter will burn and you’ll be left to either pick a new dish or forced to start over.

One year ago today, we were packing up our last boxes on Guam, checking into a hotel and awaiting a flight back to the states. I’d finally reached viability with our twin pregnancy (23 weeks), and we were moving back home (stateside), where we would be able to get the potential medical care needed for the remainder of our pregnancy. For 4.5 months, we’d been quiet about the babies. I’d been playing it safe, limiting my activities, cutting down on hiking, and trying my best to ‘take it easy,’ all the while toting around the island with our 1 and 4 year-old’s. We were warned very early on the intensity of the pregnancy, given notice that I’d have to leave the island and where I’d deliver the babies was an unknown. Our stovetop was on medium, onions and garlic were cooking and we were keeping our eyes on the pot.

A mere two months earlier, we’d learned that the differences in carrying this time around wasn’t just what I assumed was a girl pregnancy, it was actually twins. As if the idea of carrying two babies wasn’t big enough to take in, in the same statement I’d learned that if I were to make it to the 22-week mark, I would be flown and transferred to Japan, to wait out the arrival of our babies. Guam had just started to feel like home when it was just as quickly yanked out from under us. Because of the lack of sufficient medical care offered on the island to those with high-risk pregnancies, I’d be forced to have the babies in another unknown part of the world, or put up a fight to get care back in the states, where I truly wanted. While it was a fight that only a handful of people took on with us, boy are we grateful we teamed up and didn’t back down. Our sauce was thickening.

Fast-forward to today, all the worries, stress, thousands of what-ifs, and the endless precautions, our Mac (Noah-Boa, my Coffee Bean) & Cheese (Noel-NoNo Bear) has fully baked and are full of energy and serve as a constant reminder of the journey we’d been on just one year ago.

Noah (Mac) and Noel (Cheese) | 8 months | Thriving and Vibing. 

On May 24, 2023, Typhoon Mawar ripped through the island we’d just recently considered home. A Category 4 Storm, powerful winds tore through homes, flipped cars, and stripped the island of basic necessities that were truthfully already at a minimum, if not completely lacking. The island lost power, destructive rain waters bore through roofs, ruined many homes, littered the once beautiful, serene and clean beaches and wreaked havoc on the little island that many always seem to forget is where, “America Starts it’s Day.”

Hundreds of thousands of residents were instantly impacted by this storm and are even still, nearly 3 weeks later, without power or water. Imagine that. A place that is home to THOUSANDS of military members and families, living without power, water or both—in the center of the summer. The recent events that our friends are enduring are a tragic representation of what military families are expected to recover from. We’re expected to ‘ride the wave,’ often told to suck it up, that’s the way it is, your orders will be over soon enough.

Truthfully, I’m saddened to admit that had it not been home for me and my little family, I probably wouldn’t care about the destruction on Guam, just like many of you. While I’m grateful we were able to participate in fundraisers, make donations and ship things like baby wipes, soap and batteries to those out there in need, more needs to be done. It’s a blessing being able to see the camaraderie of those on the island and what they’ve been able to accomplish in regards to recovery methods, but I’m honestly completely grateful of our decision to fight to get back home. That could’ve easily been us, a family of 6, with 3 under 3, struggling to make it through the remnants of such a devastating storm. Our military families deserve more. Our sailors and airmen deserve more. Citizen’s of American territories deserve more.

It seems like we’ve taken our eyes off the pot. Our butter is burning, the cheese is clustering and our roux is getting ready to completely burn. We need to add more heavy cream—our hearts need to soften, our attention needs to—even if only occasionally—shift towards the needs of others, and not just ourselves. Being grateful for the good and blessings we get to experience will always serve as a reminder for me—don’t take things for granted, just as quickly as they come, they can go.